05 Geisha Magnets

Our plan was to stay in Kyoto for two days from the beginning. We figured that such an ancient and established city deserved two of our precious days together. The truth at the time though, was that Kyoto was making our heads swell and our feet ache. Our movements through the shifting streets were sloppy, and our patience for the seemingly sparse city was dying. We didn’t really care to be there anymore.

When we awoke, we didn’t take the cake.

We were stressed because we needed to find another place to stay. There was a chance that there would have been a cancellation where we currently were, but that didn’t happen. Reina suggested we dress up in kimonos and pretend to be girls (as there always seemed to be room for more girls), but that wasn’t our style; we prefer short skirts and high heels.

Reina, smiling of course, called another few places for us until she found one to take us for the night. Naturally, it was on the other side of Kyoto Station. We were going to take the bus. We bought all-day bus passes.

Reina gave us her contact information.

If you’re ever in Kyoto again…

She said.

The bus system was better than any I’ve ever ridden. There was a nice map with easy to understand routes, a prerecorded voice that announced the next stop, and the bus stops had displays that told you which bus is coming next and in how long. It didn’t, however, tell you what direction the bus will travel in. This was a very big problem.

So we took our bus map from Reina (unlike the receiving of city maps, receiving bus and train maps is actually very practical), and we headed to the bus stop. We waited for the right bus number, got on, and then got off at the next stop because it wasn’t travelling in the right direction. We crossed the street, waited for our number, got on the bus, and were taken to our destination stop.

But what direction were we to walk in?

We asked about four people where our hostel was, and the only common thing about the directions was that we were on the right street. We walked back and forth until in appeared from the Kyoto Mist. This was a nice place. It was a café on the first floor, and a Japanese-style hostel on the second. This means we slept on the floor and got a free drink ticket. We got banana milk — probably the best drink I’ve had in Japan. It was the Gojo café and hostel.

Our host was Mae. She studied English in England, which is surprisingly rare. She was cute and we had a Bowing War together, but that wasn’t for another twelve hours or so.

For lunch we ate ramen — Chinese noodles in a hot soup — and then we were off to the Golden Temple Pavilion.

We took the bus twenty-six stops to the pavilion (people with all-day bus passes don’t take the train). At the twenty-fourth stop we had to transfer buses. We got on the new bus, got off at the next stop, crossed the street, caught the same numbered bus and arrived at the temple three stops later.

On the bus we met a lad from Atlanta. He was into tanning, sandals and drinking too much.

Well, see ya later.

We said.

The temple itself was nice. It was very gold. Of course, if it were anything other than very gold I would have been quite upset.

Next was Gion. Gion mashes the classic Kyoto of old with the trendy Kyoto of new. Apparently the new Kyoto city planners used the old city planners’ textbooks. Kyoto, in particular, caused a lot of transportation problems.

We took the bus about twenty stops to Gion — all-day bus pass holders don’t get to Gion any other way. We weren’t going to look at our map either. No, the gaijin test would be enough for us from now on, and when we got off at Gion, boy oh boy, the gaijin were scurrying out from every corner, buzzing towards every light and sucking the blood out of all that was sacred. We should have worn a thick musk.

The bugs were so bad that we started seeing litter on the ground.

That’s Atlanta Boy’s lunch.

Chris said pointing to one heap of trash.

That’s Atlanta Boy’s breakfast.

I said pointing to a heap of empty, oversized wine bottles.

Suddenly, we were transported back in time. We were walking and suddenly the streets had changed. This is actually normal in Kyoto, but when the streets changed this time it was a whole new era. The quality of the road transformed and the architecture of the buildings warped. It was now sometime in the eighteen hundreds — I mean, except for the backlit signs and restaurants with toilets if you need them. In case you were wondering, the bugs were bad back then too.

Two geisha walked by us.

They kept their focus, despite a hazy swarm of gnat flies buzzing about them. They kept their stride, despite the incessant flashing of camera lights. Dear me Buddha, what a pest gaijin are.

Chris and I snapped pictures of our own.

We found out later that the roaches actually wait hours in Gion just to taste Geisha. Most of the time, apparently, the bugs don’t get to feed. Chris and I did not know we might see a Geisha, we had no intention of looking for one, and not only did we see two of them, there were no bugs in the swarm with better views than us. They walked right towards us, and passed by beside us.

We continued through the streets as though it were normal, as though we dated Geisha. We continued through the streets — another Geisha walked by us. This time we didn’t take a picture; we were obviously Geisha magnets.

Just as soon as we were taken back in time, we were spat out onto a flashy, gaijin-infested, fashion-inclined mega street two hundred years in the future. A bus went by – of the people who just got on, half would probably get off at the next stop.

We walked through the shopping Mecca and looked for a place to eat dinner. In the distance was Shekies – all-you-can-eat pizza, pasta and potatoes. I had been to Shekies before in Tokyo two years ago, so I suggested we eat there. Chris and my experiences were quite different.

It had become quite late and our final goal was the hostel. According to the map it wasn’t too far away. We found a main road and started walking. We walked in the wrong direction for twenty minutes. We decided to get on a bus to take us back; the bus turned when we did not expect it to so we got off. We walked all the way back to where we started, looked at the map again, confirmed that the other direction must be the right one and we walked for twenty more minutes and arrived at our home-for-the-day.

We didn’t truly believe the uselessness of city maps until after this experience.

We went to bed on the floor, turned the air conditioner to ice cold and slept wonderfully. I woke up at five to go pee.

Around nine we packed our things and said goodbye to Mae. I bowed in thanks, then she bowed in response, then I bowed lower to her response, the she responded to my response by bowing lower, then I bowed over by forty-five degrees and she did the same. Lower and lower we went until our noses were pressed to the ground. No one wins a bowing war, though both parties are humbled.

Before we left Kyoto we searched for the fish market. According to the map…oh forget it, we didn’t find it.

So we got on the Shinkansen and headed off for the final stop of our Great Meeting at 285km/h.